How To Exit A Depressive State

Sometimes, I feel like I know exactly where my life is headed, even if I don't know how it's going to get there. I feel confident and able to do anything and overcome any obstacle that comes my way.

Other times... I just feel lost. I feel like I don't know where I am or how I got here. I feel like I want someone to just take care of me, to be in a position where I do not have to worry about all the daily responsibilities and have someone else carry my burdens. Basically the feeling of giving up. Which is what someone goes through when feeling depressed.

I am very well aware of the strategies and techniques one should do when they get into a depressive state. There are ways to uplift your energy and spirit in order to continue with life, because what other option do we have?

However in those states, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to meditate, I don't want to speak to anyone (despite feeling the most lonely), I don't want to take a walk with my dogs, I don't want to draw or do anything, not even watch Netflix.

Now the goal in life is to not stay in such states for long, because if these depressive episodes extend for too long, it becomes very difficult to leave them on your own. And when you are an average adult living on your own, there is a lot more to lose than being a depressed teenager or a young adult living with family; the stakes are high. You cannot allow yourself to just fall that deep. This thought scares me, but also fuels me to push myself to find an exit to these states during depressive states.

(I will probably talk about depression in depth in another post, but I want to keep this one about getting out of short depressive states for now.)

If we allow our minds to just be and we wallow in a depressive state, it could drag and become a bigger challenge than it already is to leave. I've noticed a few things recently and that's mainly what I want to share.

When we get into such a state, the extent of the state varies. It can go from just feeling down and out of it, to feeling like your world should end right then and there. And I learned to determine the level of the states I'm in by how much I can push myself to do as it happens. There is no one best way and nobody can tell you how to deal with your mind and emotions, but there are certainly pointers and tricks that have helped others that may and may not help you. All you can do is try, they either work or they don't. If they work, that's great! and if they don't, the trial teaches you about yourself and your mind and the state you're in, so you don't have much to lose.

When do we get a chance to really iron out all the wrinkles and clear everything in our mind and life and start a clean slate? We don't. I ask myself this question all the time. I will I can just let everything, tie all loose ends, read every open browser on my laptop and close them once and for all, and just start fresh. I don't know if anyone else has achieved this before, but I'm starting to think this doesn't happen. And this takes a toll on a person when life gets difficult, and sometimes it overwhelms us enough to make us slip into these depressive states.

So the next time you are in a depressive state, try to go through the following list:

#1 Try to do any of the techniques you've heard of before such as:

• meditation

• take a walk

• power naps

• listen to music and singing along out loud like you own the place

• exercise

• take a shower and visualize everything melting away as the water runs

• try to do a hobby you like (e.g. play an instrument)

• try to remember the good things in your life and state out loud how grateful you are for them (as big or as small as they might be)

#2 If you have enough mental and emotional capacity to pick up a new skill then do so. If not, just try one of the things on the list above.

There are plenty of resources with things to do to get yourself out of the state.

But what do you do if you can't? if you're just stuck and can't get yourself to do any of these things. The goal of these are to ease your mind and to calm your energy or uplift it if possible, like putting ice on a throbbing wound. Once it starts to ease, our mind gets stronger and regains energy to deal with life again. The thing is, nobody tells you that you don't just heal it once and it's over. You have to keep healing your mind continuously, because it will keep getting hit from different directions and at different intensities from life.

So when you are just stuck and healing isn't helping, you have to consider a different approach. One thing that has helped me in the past is a two step method.

Step one: allow the sadness, sorrow, depression, and just be with it. Listen to sad music, be alone, really acknowledge the difficult state of life I'm at, think of those I've lost in my life, think of the changes that have occurred, of the pets I lost, of my childhood, of my growing parents, of my age, and the things I cannot control. Think of how life is just going by and it isn't where I expected to be by this age. Just think of it all. I get as negative as a person can get. My brain sometimes starts throbbing and actually physically hurts at this point. I could cry, it helps (if I'm able to). Then I reach a point of anger. I try to at least. That is the goal.

Step two: once I get to the point of anger. I realise there is nothing that is going to change, nobody is going to take pity on me and say "oh I'm so sorry let me help you with your life, let me fix this for you". I realise that nothing is going to change unless I get up and do something about it. So I start with this self talk. I get to the point of acceptance of "it is what it is" with myself and I start to think what now. With what I have got now, with where I am now, in this present moment, what can I do to change this? and I really take in this present moment, I look around and I literally just see everything sit still as it is where it is at this point in time.

You see step one has to do with a hurricane in our mind where our whole life is a blur, everything from past to present to future is just flying around in our minds and you feel self destructive. Then after the mental storm and breakdown, just like with actual weather after a rainstorm or a hurricane, everything settles down at some point. No storm lasts forever, whether it's mental or not. Once it settles then your mind is more clear and ready to deal with what's left over.

But if the whether stays gloomy and just getting closer to a storm but never actually getting there, it will keep festering and the clouds get darker and darker. The skies get more gloomy and the weather gets colder or more humid, it just doesn't feel good. But it remains this way until it actually rains or until the storm hits. When it comes to weather, we don't have control over it. But we do have control over our minds. You can stir up any weather you like up there.

And that is exactly it. You stir it up in step 1, make it get real loud and uncomfortable, express everything (by yourself alone usually, doing this around others never helps, things get worse and you regret it afterwards). When it hits the boiling point and you explode (of course self harm is not part of this exploding and you should seek professional help if it ever gets to that) considering things stay in moderation in terms of drinking or smoking, especially that you need the mind to get there, blurring the thoughts with exterior influence does not get you there, it keeps you there. so againnnnn, once you stir things up, the storm happens, then everything settles, you have to then get up and face reality. That is when you dust everything off, it could be the next day or a couple of hours later. But you sit with yourself, acknowledge and accept your reality as it is but not that this is all there is to it, you recognize that this is it but this (a bigger vision or picture) is what it could be. You then continue life, you take action, and that whole cycle would be the break that you needed to keep going.

I hope this helps. I still have a lot more to say when it comes to vacations considered as breaks and what not but it's too much to write here.

*Please note that i am not a licensed therapist or anything, I am speaking from experience (a lot of experience). So consult your professional if you need help. This is an opinionated blog and you shouldn't seek help from blogs or articles, they just give insights, not treatment*

Ciao for now.